How to Stop Overthinking and Start Deciding

Why Big Decisions Keep Us Stuck

Most people get stuck on a big decision because they try to answer it as a whole. 

Should I go to this event?
Should I change jobs?
Should I stay in this relationship?

The bigger the question the harder it is to just make a decision, you’d think it would be easy - yes or no. But sometimes there’s real impact behind that simple answer and it can freeze anyone in their tracks.

The trick isn’t to figure out this big answer in one go, it’s to break it down into smaller, more simplified questions and answer those yes or no.

Breaking Big Choices Into Small Yes or No Questions

Every decision can be broken down. Instead of stressing over the huge “should I or shouldn’t I” you turn it into smaller yes or no questions.

These smaller questions are much easier to answer. Once you’ve done so you can weigh the answers of the smaller questions against each other to determine what the outcome of the overall question should be.

Example: The BBQ Dilemma

Your friend invites you to their family BBQ.

For most people they would look at this invitation as simply as, “Do I go or not?”

Here’s how you can break it down instead:

Do I feel like going out today, yes or no?
Do I feel like socializing, yes or no?
Do I have the energy, yes or no?
Do I have the time, yes or no?
Do I feel any obligation, yes or no?
Does it matter to my friend if I show up, yes or no?

Once you’ve answered the smaller questions, the overall answer usually shows itself. If you’re drained, short on time, and know your friend won’t care, then skipping isn’t a big deal. If you have energy, time, and you know it matters to your friend, then you should probably attend.

Why This Works

Breaking decisions into smaller yes or no questions:

• Makes the choice less overwhelming

• Shows you what actually matters

• Lets you trust your own time, energy, and values

• Takes away the guilt of saying no

It’s not about overanalyzing. It’s about simplifying. When the smaller answers stack up, the bigger decision becomes obvious or at least much easier to make.

Scaling It Up

You can apply this to more than BBQs. 

Thinking about changing jobs? Break it down.

• Do I feel fulfilled in this role?

• Do I see a future here?

• Am I financially ready to make a change?

Thinking about ending a relationship? Break it down.

• Am I happy more often than I am drained?

• Do we share the same goals for the future?

• Do I feel respected?

• Do we have similar moral views?

Each question is still just a yes or no. Even these questions can be further reduced to smaller aspects in them as well. When you put them together, you usually see the truth.

Stop Sitting in Maybe

Life is too short to sit in maybe.

This Yes or No Method isn’t about finding the perfect choice. It’s about making a choice, then adjusting as you go. Clarity comes from deciding, not from stewing.

If you’re stuck on a decision, start by breaking it down. One yes or no at a time.

And if you want help getting clear on the choices that matter most, that is what I do with clients every day.